JEFF BATTON
Life Coach Relationship Counseling Inner Healing
A DIFFERENT APPROACH
You don't need a guru, you need a mirror!
The Coach of What Not to Do
You’re not broken — you’re just repeating what you were taught. And when those same painful patterns keep showing up — in your relationships, your work, your inner world — it’s not because something’s wrong with you. It’s just time to plant something different.
Because you can’t plant enough tomato seeds to get corn.
My coaching comes with stories, scars, Southern sayings, and soul-level honesty — not from a place of having it all figured out, but from waking up crossways in the bed and realizing: this ain’t your bed.
I’ve got the scar. You wanna look at mine — or you want your own?
JEFF BATTON
Understanding Your Relationship Patterns
Most people have no idea that relationships are designed to trigger your old wounds —
it's getting to the other side of those wounds is where the trust and intimacy is built
Early Programming
"When we're born, we know love — we just don't know how to do love. So Mom and Dad show us how it's done, and our little sponge-like brains absorb it all."
Repeating Cycles
"Because love is core to who we are, we spend the rest of our lives sub-consciously chasing whatever 'we believe' love is — even if it hurts."
Awareness and Change
"Awareness changes everything.' Once you see the pattern, the pattern starts to unravel. And finally — love starts to feel like it was meant to all along."
"I don't know what it is — but I know what it ain't.
And this ain't it."
That was my moment. On the sidewalk, empty and wrecked.I didn't know where I was going or what that even meant... but the one thing I did know.....I wasn't going to be miserable anymore.
And that's when the real awakening began!
“Ready to stop chasing and start healing?”
Where's Your Goat Still Gettable?
You don’t have to be in a relationship to be doing relationship work — because what triggers you in someone else is just showing you what’s still unhealed in you.
That’s the work — not fixing the other person, but asking:
“Why does this matter?”
If it didn’t matter, it wouldn’t shake you.
Wouldn’t rattle you. Wouldn’t get your goat.
But when it does?
That’s your signal.It’s not the problem — it’s the mirror.
And I’m the one who helps you see it.You’re not broken.
You’re just mad at the mirror because your hair’s messed up.
We don’t fix your mirror — we fix your hair.
Because when your goat’s no longer gettable — you’re free.
Freedom is when it doesn’t matter one way or the other!
"If you’re ready to listen and if you’re ready to be challenged, then the most important thing of all becomes self-observation."
ANTHONY DE MELLO
The Love Wound
“The Problem Isn’t Love.
It’s How We Learned to Do It.”
When we’re born, we know love — we just don’t know how to do love. So Mom and Dad show us how it’s done.
If Dad loves Mom and Dad drinks, our little sponge-like brains absorb it all: “Ah, Dad loves Mom. Mom loves Dad. Dad drinks. That must be what love is.” Which then becomes our programming.
And that’s how it starts.
Because love is core to who we are, we spend the rest of our lives chasing whatever "we believe" love is — even if it hurts.
So the belief gets wired in:
“If you love me, you’ll drink. And if you don’t…you don’t really love me.”
And off we go, finding partners who unknowingly "compliment" that wound.
I once worked with a newlywed couple. She brought him to me, upset that six months in, he had hit her. A good man. Never laid a hand on anyone in his life.
But when I asked about her family, we traced three generations of domestic violence on her mother’s side. Then when the tea kettle was just about to boil, I asked if her stepdad ever hit her mom, she paused and said, “Not much.” and the kettle whistled!
"You're saying this is my fault?"
"No, it's not your fault, it's your programming."
And the kicker? His behavior had nothing to do with him — she was just subconsciously setting him up to validate her belief:
“If you love me, you’ll have to hit me.”
Most people have no idea that relationships are supposed to trigger your old wounds —they’re meant to be the mirror.
They’re not broken — they’re breaking you open. That’s what love does when it’s real. It’s the friction that polishes the blade. Iron sharpens iron.
But here’s the good news:
"Awareness changes everything."
Once you see the pattern, the pattern starts to unravel.
And finally — FINALLY — love starts to feel like it was meant to all along.