You Don't Need A Guru.
You Need A Mirror.
Awaken the self you already are — through a disciplined, relational practice that changes life at the root.
You don't need fixing. You need remembering. Your patterns aren't problems — they're Love Wounds formed before you had words.
This work is designed for people willing to stay — because roots only change through time and relationship.
I spent years in therapy talking about my patterns. Three sessions with Jeff, and I finally understood why I kept choosing the same type of person. More importantly, I learned how to stop.
Sarah M.
Marketing Director, Chicago
Who This Is For
This work is for people who:
- •Are exhausted from "doing the right thing" and still feeling empty
- •Keep repeating the same patterns in relationships, work, or self-talk
- •Are ready to stop managing symptoms and deal with the root
- •Will commit to a real practice
This is not for people who:
- •Want a quick fix
- •Want validation without responsibility
- •Aren't willing to question their story
You Already Know Something Isn't Working.
This isn't about learning more. It's about stopping the war with yourself.
Anthony de Mello tells a story about a thorn. Instead of removing it, you build a cage around it. You create rules: "Don't touch me there." You develop patterns: "I'll leave before you can hurt me." You demand your partner change: "You need to stop triggering me."
But here's what you're really asking: Do something different so I don't have to feel this. Your partner isn't the problem—they're just a mirror showing you where the thorn is.
But the thorn is still there.
I don't help you manage the cage. I help you remove the thorn.
The thorn is your Love Wound—the imprint formed in childhood that's been running your relationships ever since. The cage is the pattern you built to protect it. And the exhaustion you feel? That's from spending your whole life defending something that doesn't need to be there.
Once the thorn is removed, you don't need the cage anymore. No more rules. No more demands. No more victim stories. Just freedom.
Stop Draining Your Cup. The Overflow Happens Naturally.
When your cup is full, you don't notice the slights, the injustices, or the black-tie dress code. You're free.
Most people spend their lives draining their cup—doing what they should instead of what they want, betraying themselves to keep the peace, waiting to be saved by someone else.
The result? Resentment. Exhaustion. Toxic relationships. Medicating the emptiness.
My work isn't about filling your cup. It's about helping you see how you're draining it.
Once you stop the drain (heal the wound, break the pattern, end the self-betrayal), the cup fills naturally. And when it overflows, you stop noticing. You stop keeping score. You stop defending yourself.
That's self-actualization. That's what the father in the Prodigal Son had—a cup so full, he could rejoice when his son returned instead of keeping score of the betrayal. That's freedom.
The Rejoicing Test
Scripture says, "Rejoice in all things" (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18). The inability to rejoice is the diagnostic—it reveals you're looking at life from an unsurrendered place, where your well-being depends on circumstances going your way.
When your cup overflows, you can rejoice in all things—not because you're forcing it, but because nothing threatens you. That's freedom.
Where are you NOT rejoicing? That's where your cup isn't full. That's where the wound lives.
Stop Chasing the Fruit. Heal the Root.
When you focus on the fruit, you're focused on lack.
You think you want a better relationship. What you actually need is to see the pattern that keeps creating bad ones.
You think you want more confidence. What you actually need is to heal the wound that makes you seek validation.
You think you want inner peace. What you actually need is to stop betraying yourself.
Most coaches help you chase the fruit. I help you heal the root. Once the root is healed, the fruit appears on its own.
The fruit—the relationship, the confidence, the peace—isn't a goal to chase. It's what remains when you stop draining your cup.
Your Partner Can't Fill Your Cup. And You Can't Fill Theirs.
The goal is two overflow cups—not two people trying to complete each other.
Most people enter relationships with half-empty cups, hoping their partner will fill the rest. "I got my cup to here, now YOU take it the rest of the way."
This is the source of every toxic dynamic:
- —Codependency ("I need you to complete me")
- —Resentment ("I'm giving everything, why isn't it enough?")
- —Blame ("If you really loved me, I wouldn't feel this empty")
Your partner can't fill your cup. Only you can. But here's the good news: Your partner shows you exactly where your cup isn't full. Every trigger, every fight, every moment of resentment—that's the mirror.
The goal isn't to find someone who fills your cup. The goal is to reach overflow yourself—and find someone who's also in overflow.
Two overflow cups = a relationship where nobody's keeping score, nobody's waiting to be saved, and nobody's operating from lack.
How I Help You Break the Pattern
You don't rise by trying harder — you rise by becoming aware.
My work isn't about diagnosing you, fixing you, or giving you a list of strategies you'll forget by next Tuesday.
It's about helping you see the pattern that's been running your life — the same way a mirror shows you what you can't see on your own. Discover The Mirror Method →
Once you finally see it, you stop repeating it.
And when the pattern breaks, your entire experience of love, identity, and abundance transforms.
Awareness is the doorway. I just hold up the mirror — you walk through it. See how we work together →
The Mirror Behind the Method
Creator of The Mirror Method™ · Author of "Grinnin' Like a Jackass Eatin' Briars"
I'm not here to fix you. I'm here to help you finally see what's been running your life. For over three decades, I've coached individuals and couples through the deeper layers of their patterns—the subconscious beliefs formed in childhood that quietly shape every relationship, every reaction, every story they tell themselves.
I created The Love Wound Mirror™ because people don't need more strategies. They need to understand why the same experiences keep repeating... even when they're trying their hardest to change.
My approach is simple: I show you the truth you've been too close to see and once you see it, you can't unsee it. That's when life begins to shift effortlessly.
Stories from the Mirror
"Jeff's guidance has saved my life. I was in therapy for 17 years. I struggled with anxiety, depression and addiction. Jeff is not only a safe place for me but someone whose guidance I can trust. I could never imagine my life & headspace where they are today."
Tyler
"Everyone needs a Jeff"
"The Work, The Syllabus, The Questions. Jeff has a way about him to cut to the heart of the matter. It's not always easy but definitely worth it. I like to call it The Unlearning of Barbara B. I am no longer caught up in my stories of lack."
Barbara
"Life is Forever Changed"
"Jeff taught me to be self sufficient. Before I would blame everyone around me instead of forgiving one's that have hurt me. It is hard to put into words how much he has done for me in just little over a year. He is the kindest, sensitive and engaging specialist I have ever met."
Yumi
"A Road to Self-Empowerment"